I.
ONTARIO and MANITOBA recline on opposite ends of a three-piece sectional couch. In the center on a coffee table is a BUST OF VOLTAIRE and a stack of books. ONTARIO is throwing grapes to MANITOBA, who catches them in her mouth. After a while, ONTARIO grows bored, grabs a book, and lights a pipe.
MANITOBA
Another!
ONTARIO lazily throws another grape without looking. MANITOBA catches it with ease. Once more. After this, MANITOBA grows bored, grabs a book, and lights a pipe. Without looking, ONTARIO throws another grape. It falls to the ground. Blackout.
II.
The same scene. Perhaps ONTARIO and MANITOBA have switched sides on the couch. They are both still reading, though the pipes have vanished.
ONTARIO
Well?
MANITOBA
What?
ONTARIO
How is it?
MANITOBA
The book?
ONTARIO
Yes.
MANITOBA
It’s fine.
MANITOBA closes her book.
MANITOBA
I’m bored.
ONTARIO
Of what? The book?
MANITOBA
No.
ONTARIO
Then what?
MANITOBA
Must one be bored of something?
ONTARIO
I’ve always thought so. Or, at the least, I’ve had the sense.
MANITOBA
The sense.
ONTARIO
Yes, the sense.
MANITOBA
Nonsense.
ONTARIO
Boredom always has an object. I’m bored of this, I’m bored of—
MANITOBA
What do you mean, “the sense”?
ONTARIO
I mean I have an intuition. A notion.
MANITOBA
You don’t have a reason.
ONTARIO
No, I do. Just—inarticulated.
MANITOBA
Inarticulated? You mean inarticulate?
ONTARIO
No, I mean inarticulated.
MANITOBA
No, I mean you are inarticulate.
ONTARIO reads silently.
MANITOBA
Come on. I’m sorry.
ONTARIO
I’m bored of this.
MANITOBA
Me too.
ONTARIO
Of what?
MANITOBA
This.
ONTARIO
See!
MANITOBA
You always do this.
ONTARIO
I’ve made my case.
MANITOBA
It’s nothing.
MANITOBA reads silently.
ONTARIO
What a bore.
ONTARIO reads silently.
πολυφλοίσβοιος 